waiting waiting waiting

i have 2 days off to try and finish packing. i don't have too much left, at this point it's just the end of my closet and my bathroom. there are stinkbugs all over this house. i'm desperately hoping they don't hide in any of my bags or boxes and stow away to market street with me. i'll have plenty of city bugs to deal with there, let alone gross stinkbugs that multiply when you kill them.

the good news is that my new sheets came today! so very excited about them...they are perfect and exactly how i imagined them to be : )

i just wish i could start moving things over to the new place already. it's going to take a lot of trips i think, and parking downtown on a sunday might be challenging? maybe?

things left to do before the move:

-clean out my car
-post office to change address
-pack bathroom stuff
-do laundry friday and pack that stuff
-finish packing closet
-buy a shower liner

i also would like it to be october 17th already so that i can go back to ohio and get the big table i'm confiscating from mom's house. things really can't begin until i get that. can't sew on the floor very well.

koop and pandora are making this all possible right now. ready for it to be sunday already!

not motivated

pants! all ready to go and be packed away. this may not seem like a lot of pants to you, but considering i really only wear about 2 pairs of pants i was quite surprised to find i owned all of these. they've been hiding in my rarely entered closet.

i'm very thankful to my previously motivated self who packed most of my things last weekend. because i really am not in the mood to pack right now. more in the mood to eat jelly beans. and so that is what i'm doing. i have both thursday and friday off so i am not in any hurry to pack. my closet is the last thing i need to do.

today at work i was having a hard time thinking about anything other than the fact that this was a dumb, dumb move and all sorts of negative thoughts that worrywarts such as myself get...like, now i'm STUCK here, i will never have money for food (or wine! which would be devastating, honestly, moreso than the food), i won't be able to decorate because i will have no money to decorate (which negates half my reasoning for moving out..well, maybe only 1/4), how i did NOT think this through..and i always think things through therefore this has no choice but to go sour shortly. but, as my younger self would not have been able to do, i could calm myself down and think of all the great positives that this will bring. i'm feeling a list coming on...

pros:

-my own space to decorate! however i please!
-more space to get down and crafty
-closer to town (by closer i mean IN town)
-i can bike to work. or walk...only 3 miles. this will help get me in shape, be better for the environment, and help me save money by not always driving/using gas
-i'll only be 2 blocks away from the boy, as opposed to a 15 minute drive now (really, not terrible but ya know..you can't beat 2 blocks)
-i'm really hoping it gives me more confidence than stress...i would like to feel empowered from this, please, not have it be ulcer-inducing

and really, there's no point in making a con part to this list because i have already committed to it and so pointing out the negatives wouldn't help anything.

so, with that, it's jelly bean time.

yawn

oh i am already worn out and i'm only halfway done packing and not even close to moving yet. somewhat close. all the excitement and anticipation is getting to me...not to mention worrying about the fact that i will have NO money when this is said and done and why did i want to do this again?? oh well. it will be good, it will be good, it will be good. it will be what i make it. i can make bad or good, and i choose good!

my deposit and first month's rent are all paid up, got my electricity junk all taken care of. need to do a change of address form sometime this week. and finish packing. and buy a shower curtain. and pray that my sheets come in the mail! it's been a week already..come on kohls.com. trying to still be excited about all of this...it's getting harder realizing how broke i will be and wondering if my plan to start crafting will actually be possible since i will not have much extra money for supplies. oh i don't know. it will all work out the way it's supposed to.

new new new

the last 3.5 months have been so, so great. lots of thinking, lots of dreaming, more doing...visiting home and jill. this week is by far the best. i had been trying to figure out where i wanted to be...ohio or maryland or somewhere else. nothing ever seems quite right in my life, so why should this be any easier? it is something that honestly will keep me up at night...trying to decide where i want to live. but this week, the light bulb just went on. i thought to myself, "i want to create. i want to make things. i want to bake bread and screenprint and sew purses and pillows and be inspired and excited about life." and the way to do this? get my own place. this way i can get the floors dirty and have a crafty mess going on if i want to and not worry about cats choking on thread or spilling something on the carpet.

so monday i went on craigslist, called on a couple places, loved one of them to pieces, filled out an application, got approved, and essentially committed myself to living in frederick, maryland for one whole year. i made a commitment! and so far, i haven't backed out. they now have my money so i guess i am in. and i could not be more excited! i already have a huge list of things to buy. which may take me 2 years since now i will barely be scraping by. but i don't care, because i will have my own space..all to myself where i can spread out, sprawl out, and completely totally be myself.

i allowed myself to buy some essentials...sheets, plates, cups and will definitely need a shower curtain before i move in. after that, it's time to save, save, save all my money that doesn't go towards bills so i can decorate the place and get some cooking essentials.

this blog will serve as a way for me to keep all my thoughts about this exciting process. i am constantly on the internet and looking at magazines about home decor and interior design and crafts and i want to pee my pants just thinking about all the fun things i will do to make my home..even if it is just a one bedroom apartment! this will also be a place for me to share my process of trying to start my own etsy.com store and start building a business (a quite small one!) of selling crafty things i make.

i'm ready for this, i'm ready for fall, i'm ready for a change...so excited for it all! moving in one week, and already half packed..not bad for a procrastinator like me.